Dr Shahzad Qureshi
We meet people every day. We see them at work, at social events, in shops, at family gatherings and even on social media. We see their smiles, their success and the good moments they choose to share. But what we see from the outside is not always the full story.
Behind every smile could be a silent battle. Someone may be smiling while going through a difficult time in their personal life. Someone may look confident while carrying worries they cannot share with anyone. A successful person may be dealing with loneliness. A person who makes everyone else laugh may go home feeling completely alone. We simply do not know what is happening behind closed doors.
That is why empathy is so important. Empathy does not mean we have to solve everyone’s problems. Sometimes we cannot. It simply means trying to understand that every person has feelings, struggles and a story that we may know nothing about.
A kind word can make a bigger difference than we realise. Asking someone, “Are you okay?” and actually giving them time to answer can mean a lot. A phone call, a message, a cup of tea or simply sitting with someone and listening can sometimes be exactly what they need.
We should also be careful about judging people too quickly. If someone is quiet, they may not be rude. If someone cancels a meeting or social gathering, there may be a reason. If a friend suddenly becomes distant, instead of immediately becoming angry, perhaps we should check whether everything is okay.
In today’s world, social media can make this even more difficult. We constantly see pictures of happy families, beautiful holidays, successful careers and smiling faces. It can create the impression that everyone else has a perfect life. But social media shows moments, not the whole journey. Every human being experiences disappointment, pressure, loss, uncertainty and difficult days.
We should therefore build a culture where kindness is normal.
Be kind to the waiter serving your table. Be patient with the person working behind the counter. Check on the friend who has suddenly gone quiet. Spend time with elderly relatives. Listen to your children instead of only telling them what to do. Appreciate the people around you while they are still around you.
Most importantly, never underestimate the power of simply being there. We may not remember every conversation we have in life, but we often remember the people who stood beside us during our difficult times. Sometimes people do not need advice. They do not need lectures or judgement. They simply need someone who listens, understands and reminds them that they matter.
Life is already challenging enough. We do not need to make it harder for each other.
So before judging someone’s behaviour, remember that there may be a story you cannot see. Behind a smile may be pain. Behind confidence may be fear. Behind silence may be a battle.
Choose kindness. Choose understanding. Choose empathy. You never know how much your kindness may mean to someone.
